My name is Donna Bramante InDelicato. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter and friend, a communications professional. I hail from the small town of Windham, New Hampshire. I am compelled to share my story of hope. What I have to share is big. It’s about women’s welfare.
Gentlemen and ladies…when I tell you I am thrilled to be here…. I mean that quite literally. You see, I am two-time breast cancer survivor.
I am ONE woman.. in a sea of MILLIONS.
THIS VERY DAY, 3780 women all over the world will hear the dreaded words, “You have breast cancer.” That’s about 25,000 EVERY SINGLE WEEK!!!! For many of you reading this, breast cancer is, or will be, personal.
My story is one of MILLIONS.. a narrative of epic battles and incremental steps forward, a roundabout journey from which I am finally home. Two winters ago, I closed what I hope will be the final chapter of my breast cancer story. My cancer has been in remission for seven years, and all that cancer took away from me has been restored and more.
Nine years ago, at just 34 years old, a diagnosis of cancer was the last thing I ever expected. Not a single person in my extended European (Italian-Polish-Danish) family had ever had cancer. My cancer adventure began in the office of my gynecologist, where a clinical exam confirmed a palpable breast lump. I was granted passage to a breast surgeon’s office, where ultrasound and a biopsy led to my diagnosis: early stage breast cancer. Shared tears, a stiff brandy, several sleepless nights, and a partial mastectomy later, my family and I believed our breast cancer episode was done (whew!). But, that was not to be…..
Four years later, while breastfeeding my darling daughter, I felt a lump. An eternal optimist, I brushed this off, thinking it was due to lactation. What I assumed was “nothing” turned out to be a serious malignacy – invasive, triple negative breast cancer, infiltrating out of my breast to several lymph nodes. This diagnosis was tough on me, but even tougher on all the people that love me, who helplessly stood by, masking their fears.
Life can change pretty quickly, I learned. I was swept up in a rip tide of activity threatening to pull me under. The first order of business was to get the cancerous cells out of my body with the removal of both my breasts. In a matter of weeks I was reduced from a vibrant, active entrepreneur and busy mother of two to a bald and sickly “two-dimensional woman-boy”. I needed an arsenal of treatments to survive, and was subsequently infused with chemotherapy and zapped with radiation. I lost my long hair, and felt totally diminished.
“This difficult time will pass”, my beloved oncologist said, and indeed it did.
But the consequence that remained with me, and pervasively affected my life, was the amputation of my breasts - a deformity I lived with for 4 ½ prime years of my life.
Although breast cancer caused a torrent of challenges for me and my family, I never, ever, allowed it to drown me. I thanked heaven for so many valuable lifesavers – my family and friends, wonderful nurses, and a team of terrific doctors. My crazy sense of humor helped me fight my way to the surface when cancer dragged me down. Oh, yes. I was the crazy chemo patient spicing up the infusion room with silly costumes ! Imagine a witch, a cowgirl, and a “pink punk rocker” tethered to an i.v.. At times, “coping” involved intentionally flipping my wig for a reaction. Once, I faked a call from the Olympic Bobsledding Team soliciting my flat, aerodynamic body. Actually, I did notice some improvement to my golf swing and my archery without womanly “impediments”!! My violin, however, had no place to rest. My jokes about being breastless got me and my family through some pretty dark days. Every time my loved ones looked at me, however, they were, on an emotional level, reminded of my serious illness.
I tried wearing prosthetics, but found them to be uncomfortable and silly. They made me feel like a guy in drag. One UFO incident in the swimming pool (unidentified floating object) was enough for me to put my foamy fake friends away in a drawer forever. I returned to my fitted clothing, and got used to the sideways glances from strangers. I imagined them thinking, “I’ve seen FLAT, but that woman is CONCAVE!” Others assumed I was anorexic; my lack of breasts made me appear super thin. With no breast fold to hold bathing suit tops from riding up, bikini beach volleyball was definitely crossed off my list. I resorted to pathetic little-girl styles.
Well, determination and humor only get you so far. For years, my chest concavity and surgical scars caused much deeper emotional ones. The truth is, this loss doesn’t just physically degrade a woman, it erodes her self-confidence, and takes away an innately primal aspect of the female identity. (Perhaps the men reading this will ponder what a comparable physical loss could mean in terms of one’s masculinity.)
Words cannot convey how much I missed my breasts – the way they made my clothing look, the role they played in my sexuality, the comfort they offered my young children as they cuddled on my lap. My reduced confidence impacted my professional productivity as well. My deformity, a visible symbol of my cancer, diminished my family’s faith in my long-term wellness. The sympathy it elicited from others affected my social life and shaded my friendships. What I saw in the mirror clouded the quality of my life, and prevented me from mentally moving BEYOND my cancer. After a while, I just stopped looking in the mirror, stopped wearing stylish clothes made for normal women’s bodies, and ceased enjoying my sexuality. Subconsciously, I became rather depressed.
Several times over those breast-less years, I visited plastic surgeons desperately seeking the possibility of breast reconstruction. Each time I was told that restoration was not possible – the mastectomy tissue removal had been extremely aggressive, life-saving radiation treatments had badly damaged the tissue remaining, and I was thin. I gave up hope that I would ever be whole again. My wish was modest – just a normal “bump” would do. The idea of “transferring” tissue and muscle from other parts of my precious body, even if this were possible for me, was quite unappealing.
OK. Enough with the pity! Now comes the good part of my story!! Now I get to tell you how the sun returned in my sky and the color back in my life! Thanks to LifeCell Tissue Matrix and silicone implants I became whole again, and even greater than the sum of my parts. THIS is the happy ending, and new beginning, that ALL women facing cancer should have the right to choose.
How did I learn about this procedure? A chance meeting in my daughter’s ballet class waiting room opened the door to the beginning of the rest of my life. A fellow “ballet mom” gave me the business card of the brilliant and compassionate Dr. Karl Breuing, plastic surgeon. Fall of 2007, I decided to investigate breast restoration one last time, and am I glad I did! A few months later, I became the recipient of two incredibly restored breasts constructed with AlloDerm (acellular donor tissue matrix), my body’s own natural regenerative process, and cohesive gel implants! I learned that the use of this tissue supplement in my reconstruction helped provide adequate interior space, mechanical support, and a sub-dermal barrier enabling anatomic breast implants to be permanently positioned in place. I was able to emerge from a single breast reconstructive surgery entirely and permanently restored! When I woke up from surgery and looked down at familiar shapely mounds, rivers of joy trickled down my face. I wanted to leap out of bed, do my “BellaDonna” dance, and hug everyone in sight!
In retrospect, I never consciously acknowledged how the loss of my breasts affected my psychological wellness, and the energy my sadness drained from me, until I got that vitality back. I left my depression and anxiety in the operating room of Faulkner Hospital in Boston!. Adios! Thanks to LifeCell Tissue Matrix , I’ve truly and totally recovered - with a tremendous sense of hope, self confidence, and purpose. This reconstruction allowed me to move entirely past my breast cancer bout.
My girlfriends would tell you “Donna’s got her mojo back”! My little daughter proclaims, “Wow mom! You look like my Barbie dolls now!” and “You look just like all the other moms.” My 14-year-old son, the topic of “breasts” evoking, um, mixed emotions, tells me he’s “happy for me” and picks up on my improved mood. My children are happily thriving, my cancer to them is now a fading memory. My parents are just plain relieved.
How is my life after reconstruction? FANTASTIC! I can wear any style of clothing again! Even strapless! I can tell you (and my husband would agree) “It’s good to feel sexy again!” Breasts play an important role in intimate satisfaction for both partners. It’s all quite natural. To summarize, “I’m much happier now!”
My cancer taught me so much. I have re-organized my priorities, and utilize my communications skills now for the welfare of others. For better or worse, Life sometimes hands out sour lemons. I am busy now making and sharing lots of lemonade!!! Incidentally, the lemons image shown here is utilized by the UK’s “Lemonland” breast cancer support website, devoted to global breast cancer education. The caption reads “have you squeezed you lemons lately?”
Anyway, It’s not what happens to you in life that matters, it’s what YOU DO with it!! Cancer has given me the opportunity to take stock of my life and purpose, to live more deeply engaged. Each of us CAN make a difference. My involvement with the breast cancer community runs deep, so I’ve had the privilege of sharing lots of dialogue with thousands of others. Through various aspects of advocacy work I’ve touched, benefited and learned from a wonderful cohort, tens of thousands of breast cancer sisters. I have walked women through the process to recovery hand-in-hand, spoken at public forums, and allowed the news media to publicly share my story of hope. I have become inspired to great activism, leading “Team BellaDonna” in raising $250,000 for the international Avon Breast Cancer Foundation. I will not stop until I know that all women everywhere know about this type of reconstruction. It has been over 8 years since it was first pioneered; the time is long overdue for this information to become public knowledge.
What do I want women to know? LifeCell Tissue Matrix allows individual women and their care teams to address dynamic treatment considerations. It makes reconstruction predictable, adjustable, adaptable, and available for all women. Many women can now have breast reconstruction in a single procedure. It allows women to preserve the rest of their bodies. And, the cosmetic results are great!
All women deserve the chance to make smart and healthy choices, choices that appropriately balance wellness benefits with compromise. For me, it’s not just about improving lives like mine; it’s about potentially preventing deaths. We all have a responsibility, a stake in that. Sharing the possibilities of breast reconstruction affords so many women diagnosed with breast cancer, AND those at identified risk of developing the disease, the chance to make life preserving choices. Informed, empowered women make better wellness choices.
I’d like to convey the appreciation of my family, friends and millions of breast cancer sisters. The biomedical scientists and professionals making tissue repair products possible, and my reconstruction possible, are leading the way towards healthier futures for so many. The biologics frontier is just beginning to open up. Let us hope these fields continue to get the support they need to take medicine and wound care into the 21st century and beyond.
For more information on LifeCell Tissue Matrix and Breast Reconstruction visit: www.breastreconstructionmatters.com, The American Cancer Society, and The American Society of Plastic Surgeons.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
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